Stop Complaining About Your Colleagues Behind Their Backs: Reflections on The Role of Gossip in Forest Service Culture

I asked Microsoft Designer for “humans gossiping wearing Forest Service uniforms”

Let’s hope the AI in wildfire models works better…is that Smokey, without his signature hat, in the back listening to gossip?

******************************

This post is in the interest of being a public service to all folks working or volunteering in groups. Also our chance to tell our stories. Due to the whims of the Algorithm Gods, I just found this 2018 article from the Harvard Business Review.

In the Forest Service during my time period (1979-2012), we definitely had training about how to talk to people directly, rather than going behind their back (specifically to their supervisors). We were supposed to go to the person first, so that if we went to their supervisor, the supervisor was supposed to ask “have you spoken to that person first? What did they say?” and the discussion would go on from there to work towards a solution.

In my career, as you can imagine (!), I had a great many complaints filtered via my boss without the complainant coming to me first. Now, I don’t blame an Undersecretary for not going to me first, he was working through channels. When I was a young FS sapling, trying hard to learn the culture, I noticed that “going through channels” was something I was supposed to do (and did gladly) but other people did not. I would point out this asymmetry from time to time without getting a good answer, so I accepted it as the way things are.

I remember my first surprise about this was my first job, second location, the Ochoco SO. My boss, a terrific guy, was giving my performance review and said “the administrative folks said you were something.” Today, I can’t remember what the concern was. I do remember saying “you never asked me to give input on them, is this something that’s standard?” I was one of the first women professionals and maybe there was some kind of problem, which I couldn’t fix unless they told me specifically. At the time, there were pockets of tension between some (women) administrative folks and (some) women professionals. Women (and men) are not always kind to each other.

I also remember also being highly irritated that this wonderful person whom I had worked with, and whom I supported for a job, had his chances kiboshed by someone in the RO who had never worked with him. This also happened to me when I tried to get a job nearer to where my husband lived.. my Forest Super called over and was told “they heard bad things about her.” I called this (my tiny part of Region 6’s) “Management by Gossip.”

Fast forward thirty years, and I’m on review panels for jobs in R2. More than once I was really frustrated after carefully reading all their applications and calling around, to find that all it took was one bad word from a highly regarded person and that was it.

Now I understand part of why that is. Hiring people is critical, if you get the wrong one they can 1) make your life miserable 2) make everyone else’s life miserable, and 3) make extra work for you and your employees. I have a friend in the medical university world who has PTSD from dealing with one colleague. So it’s very important, removing people is hard, and being risk-averse is not a bad thing. Especially when other people might be trying to get rid of problem employees and giving them glowing reviews. No, not easy at all.

I also know why many people don’t want to give feedback. At one time, I was working in 4NW of the Auditor’s Building in RPA. We shared with the Wildlife and Fish people a huge space of small cubicles. One wildlife and fish person spoke very loudly while she was on the phone. I did speak to other folks to make sure that I wasn’t the only one, and found myself the only person willing to tell her. So I think the fact that “hearing bad things” is an employment criterion and being unwilling to give feedback because it might irritate a person who might then say bad things about you. In my case we didn’t inhabit the same potential promotion space, so it was fairly safe for me. At the same time, future promotion space is not entirely predictable, so there’s that.

In my last job, only 12 years ago, I had an employee who wanted to lateral to a Deputy Forest Supe on a Forest. The Forest Supe, she and I were all together on this. I went to my boss at the time and said “let’s make this happen.” My boss looked at me and said “I’ve heard from the WO that she has a blog so we can’t support her.” I felt like, but didn’t say, “you clueless wretch!” I did say “you accepted that and didn’t ask me or her if it was true? It’s me who has the blog.” Coming after me was one thing, but coming after innocent employees- based on gossip..? That was the day I decided to retire.

Why is gossip sometimes helpful? Why is “talk to the person before you talk to someone else” so difficult? Please share your own stories, or explanations or clarifications in the comments. About the Forest Service or any other organization.

Anyway, back to the Harvard Business Review, which is not paywalled.

Considering how satisfying it is to be right, how tempted we are to avoid giving direct feedback and having difficult conversations, and how often we seek confirmation for what we already believe, it can be hard to break the habit of engaging in gossip — as the instigator or the recipient. Nevertheless, there are several strategies to help you and your team stop engaging in something so wrong that feels so right:

1) Name it, then pivot. First, call gossip “gossip” to stop it in its tracks. If you are engaging in “informal and evaluative talk in an organization, usually among no more than a few individuals, about another member of that organization who is not present,” — especially if the aim is to confirm your experience rather than get constructive solutions — then you are participating in gossip. If you call someone on it, most people will step back at hearing a colleague say, “This sounds like gossip. Is that what you intended?” Second, pivot the conversation by asking, “How can I help you get a better outcome?” Only engage in coaching, brainstorming, and problem-solving conversations — not in problem-confirming ones.

2) Ask yourself or others why you need someone else’s confirmation about a behavior that you’re noticing in a third person. If it’s to justify your feelings, to confirm that you’re right, or to gain support for your point of view, don’t bring someone else into the conversation. If it’s to understand how you might be contributing to the dynamic or problem, to brainstorm helpful solutions, or to go on record to make a formal complaint for further investigation, then go for it.

3) Let people know that you have a policy of “if you have a problem with me, please tell me first.” Adopt the “tell them first” policy with your colleagues, and, when someone approaches you with gossip about someone else, ask “Have you already told her?” to remind them of this policy.

4) Create a feedback-rich environment around you. The more you normalize feedback — both positive and negative, and both giving and receiving — the less likely people will be to look for alternative means to express their frustrations and concerns. Rather than “saving” feedback for annual performance reviews, make discussions about what someone did well, and what he or she could do differently, a part of every supervision meeting or project debrief. And make sure to give people positive feedback when they offer particularly useful feedback — even if it’s hard to hear.

Gossip, even by any other name, is still a destructive communication strategy that negatively impacts individuals, teams and the whole organization. By stopping it in its tracks, choosing healthier and more helpful methods of communicating what’s not working, and engaging in collaborative problem-solving, relationships and organizations can flourish.